My heart is SO heavy tonight.
Over the course of my pregnancy and since having Ellie, I've found and met many amazing women through both pregnancy groups and the blogging world. Since I didn't have many close girlfriends pregnant, or even with children for that matter, I became very close to some of these women.
The women that I met online through these groups and/or blogging have become some of my closest friends. Call me crazy, but I love them all dearly and hold them close to my heart. They've answered my questions, eased my fears, and have been a sense of comfort for whatever the reason may be. We've laughed together. Cried together. Drank wine together. You name it, we've done it or talked about it. I absolutely cherish these women.
The reason for my post tonight is because throughout this whole experience I've become a lot more familiar with the world of infertility through these groups. While JP and I haven't had to experience infertility, I've witnessed account after account of women that have. One in particular lost her third and final triplet at 21 weeks tonight, after 3 years and many, many losses later. My heart absolutely breaks for her and her husband. I truly cannot imagine going through a loss like that. I admire her for her strength to continue on, because in all honesty, if I were there, I don't think I'd be able to do it.
I am not one to ask for prayers, but if you pray, please pray for this sweet family that they may find peace and the strength to move on during what is the worst thing they've ever had to experience, despite 3 years of losses and infertility struggles.
I know I say this a lot, so I apologize.
I am SO incredibly thankful for my sweet Ellie. She is the light of our lives. What they say is true -- having a child is like having your heart walking around on the outside. She has my heart. I always feel like my love for her cannot grow any deeper, yet each and every day it does. I don't do this enough, but I thank God for choosing me to be her Mommy. I couldn't have asked for a more precious, rewarding, and loving gift.
There are so many women that struggle in this world plagued by infertility and it breaks my heart. I wish I could put into words the love and emotion one experiences with having a child, but I cannot. All I can do is pray that there are more cures found to these problems and that all of these deserving women are able to eventually to feel those emotions and have a baby of their own. While I wouldn't want any woman to experience infertility or a loss, I pray that all of the women near and dear to my heart get to have children of their own some day.
For those of you that already have your little ones, your take home babies, please hold them close tonight. We are SO blessed.
Losing my two angels were some of the darkest times in my life. Having gone through trying to have a baby for over four years was really hard on my body, my self esteem, my mothering and my marriage. I feel so blessed every time I look at my sweet boys and hope everyone who experiences infertility and lose find peace.
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