Tuesday, August 26, 2014
Chalkboard: A How To
Saturday, August 23, 2014
24 weeks | Baby 2.0
What's new?
Peanut has reached viability week!
Though we want her to stay put much longer (though it's okay if you want to come a tiny bit early, Baby Girl, like two weeks would be great), this is a big milestone and we're glad to have reached it. :)
She weighs about 1 1/3 pounds.
Her brain is quickly developing.
Her skin is becoming more pink and opaque, rather than translucent, looking more and more like a real baby (as opposed to fake, right?).
She's still tiny, but as we can all see below, she's (and by she, I mean I am) working on packing on the lbs.
She's still tiny, but as we can all see below, she's (and by she, I mean I am) working on packing on the lbs.
How far along? 24 weeks
Baby's size? an ear of corn - about 12 inches in length
Total weight gain: 17 pounds, lovely.
Maternity clothes? Yep, most of the time. Though I'm still able to rock the bella band or hair tie trick with most of my shorts/jeans.
Sleep: I officially can't sleep with out my pregnancy pillow and getting comfortable is becoming difficult.
Best moments this past week: Last night JP and I had a date night sans our toddler baby. We went to Flemming's and while it may have just been dinner, alone time is never something we take for granted these days. :)
Miss Anything? Nope.
Movement: All.day.long.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Not consistently, though I was all of a sudden grossed out by all meat at dinner last night. I was the girl that ordered a salad at a steakhouse (though, let's be honest, I wouldn't have ordered a steak anyway!). With chipotle cheddar mac and cheese. Followed by chocolate lava cake (I don't even like chocolate!). Pregnant, much?
Labor Signs: Technically, no. I had a day or two with a ton of BH contractions this week though.
Gender: Girl! And I *think* we've decided on a name. :)
Symptoms: Nothing has changed. Basically, gaining weight and being uncomfortable in certain situations and/or times of day. This belly is starting to get in the way of things!
Belly Button in or out? We've reached past the halfway mark, though it hasn't completely popped yet.
Wedding rings on or off? on
Happy or Moody most of the time: Very happy most of the time, though today being our sweet second baby's edd anniversary has been a bit emotional.
Looking forward to: Dinner with one of my bff's tonight and CHICAGO on Thursday!!
24 weeks
Please vote for us, friends!!
Monday, August 18, 2014
The M Word
The M word.
The word many fear to utter, yet is more common than most think.
The word many women have experienced, yet few dare to mention.
The word many know exist, yet doubt it will happen to them.
Miscarriage.
25% of pregnancies end in miscarriage.
When including loss before a positive pregnancy test, it is said that 40% of pregnancies result in a miscarriage.
That's one in four known pregnancies. ONE in FOUR!
About 75% of miscarriages take place during the first trimester.
There are over 4 million confirmed pregnancies each year and nearly 1 MILLION result in the loss of a pregnancy.
It is also said that most women with at least 2-3 children have probably had a miscarriage somewhere along the line.
The statistics are shocking. They're heartbreaking. They're real.
Having become very familiar with the blogging world and building friendships through social media, I've become very familiar, all too familiar, with the horrible reality and statistics that the ugly M word has brought to light. I've had friends that have lost their babies, both early and later in pregnancy. It has broken my heart every single time. However, I've never known what to say. How can you? A women just lost a child that was supposed to be hers. A child she was supposed to hold in her arms. A child that was (hopefully) conceived in love. A child that she already loved so deeply. A child that was a part of her. A child that was supposed to be a daughter - a son - a sibling.
I've never known what to say because I've never been there.
I've never known what to say because I've never been there.
But the reality is, things have changed. I am now one of these women. One of the women that knows firsthand how common miscarriage is. Yet, never expected to be here.
Now, here I am. Grieving. Crying. Confused. Sad.
Now, here I am. Grieving. Crying. Confused. Sad.
Here I am, recovering and still healing from what was hands down the hardest part of my life. I miscarried our baby. We found out on December 11, 2013 that I was pregnant. We were thrilled. We felt lucky. It was very easy for us to conceive Ellie and again with this baby. Yet, little did we know what was to come. I immediately felt a couple symptoms (starving and overly exhausted all.day.long), but they went away after a week or two. I was worried, yet remained optimistic, hoping (praying -- practically begging and pleading that) I was one of those women that just didn't get any symptoms. Yet, secretly wishing - hoping - praying I'd get morning sickness. Something, anything! to let me know everything was okay.
We went to our first appointment at what would have been 6 weeks 2 days, yet I was only measuring about 6 weeks and my OB couldn't find the heartbeat. However, we were able to see the yolk sak and fetal pole, all beginning stages of a pregnancy. He said not to be alarmed, that this is common at 6 weeks. Those of you that know me, know that I couldn't NOT be alarmed. I was worried. Terrified. We scheduled a follow up for 8 weeks. I left hesitant, sad, and knowing something wasn't right. The next week inched on by, slower than slow. I finally called and had them squeeze me in sooner. We went back on January 9th at what should have been 7 weeks 5 days. Sure enough, I knew immediately upon seeing the ultrasound screen.
There still wasn't a heartbeat.
Cue the floodgates.
There still wasn't a heartbeat.
Cue the floodgates.
We were given several options since this was considered a missed miscarriage. I could wait for things to happen naturally, although who knew how long that would take. I could take a pill to push the process along, but I've heard nothing but horror stories with this method. The final option was surgery. We went ahead and scheduled my surgery for that next day. I struggled. We struggled. What else were we supposed to do?
We were heartbroken. We spent that night cuddled up, soaking up every ounce of Ellie that we could. We'd sit in silence for a while, then the tears would return. We'd talk about it some more. Over analyzing, sad, yet trying to remain optimistic that we'd be oh so fortunate to get another positive pregnancy test later down the line. That night and the next day were by far the two worst days of my life. I've never cried so hard. I've never been so consumed with a single thought. It was horrible.
January 10th will forever be etched in my brain as the worst day of my life.
January 10th will forever be etched in my brain as the worst day of my life.
That being said, I couldn't have asked for a better support system. Although just as equally distraught, JP was my rock through the whole experience. We told very few people about the pregnancy, waiting to hear the heartbeat to tell more distant family and friends. However, those that did know (our parents and a couple of our closest friends) were beyond amazing. They were so incredibly understanding and supportive. The calls, the messages, flowers, gifts, and more were more than we could have asked for. So not only did we have each other, we had the people that are closest to us there with us. They were affected too.
I've gone back and forth on whether or not I wanted to share this post. In fact, when originally written just a few weeks after the fact, I wasn't sure it would ever be shared. It was more of a coping mechanism at the time. That being said, I sat down several times, stared at a blank screen, wrote far too much, then deleted every single word.
Am I ready to share this news with the world? Am I ready to face the comments and questions that could potentially arise? Am I ready to be more vulnerable than I've ever been? Probably not.
But with the support of my husband, I've decided to share our story.
Am I ready to share this news with the world? Am I ready to face the comments and questions that could potentially arise? Am I ready to be more vulnerable than I've ever been? Probably not.
But with the support of my husband, I've decided to share our story.
Because the reality is, miscarriage is real. It happens to real women. It happens to women that you'd least expect it to. Healthy women. Young women. Women already with children. Women without. I think there is a poorly portrayed view in our society in which some believe a woman that's gone through miscarriage must have made a mistake. She wasn't healthy. She did something wrong. Something was wrong with her body. She should have been able to prevent it. But the reality is, that is not true. When a miscarriage happens this early in a pregnancy, there isn't anything you can do to prevent it. You didn't do anything wrong. My OB said it's due to a genetic abnormality in either the sperm or the egg. It's hard not to blame ourselves, which is why I think society jumps to the same conclusion. However, that just isn't the case.
I'll be honest, I still have to remind myself of this. Daily.
Deciding to be open about my miscarriage is part of the healing process for me. Not that I want it to be table talk and on everyone's plate for discussion over their morning coffee, I just want to feel comfortable in the reality that I have faced. I don't want to feel ashamed or have to hide and grieve in silence. I need support. What would have been my due date, August 23, is now only 5 days away and all of my emotions have come flooding back. It's tough. I need my friends and family to understand. I don't want to spend hours talking about it, but it's a part of me now. Talking about it, to some extent, is an outlet. I realized that I was struggling more when attempting to bottle this up inside of me. I've lost a piece of my heart and I'll never be able to forget our little angel baby.
So, here I am, sharing my story.
I want people to know.
While he/she may not be here on Earth, I don't want to forget.
I wish more women were comfortable and didn't feel the need to grieve alone. I wish they didn't feel the need to hide in secret. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
This is real. It happens to real women. It happened to me.
I'm now about 23.5 weeks pregnant and while that's a wonderful feeling and we are SO incredibly grateful for this peanut, we still think about our baby that we lost. Some days are harder than others, but just because we're once again pregnant, doesn't mean the grieving is over.
I'm still sad. Still grieving.
But I want other women to have hope.
We are so exited for this third little miracle on her way.
Another little one to love and kiss and snuggle. WE ARE THANKFUL.
For those that have also experienced miscarriage, know that you are NOT alone. I know it's a sensitive subject, but it's not one that you need to be ashamed of or hide from the world. Be grateful for the time you had and remember that you now have a little angel babe watching down over you.
I'll be honest, I still have to remind myself of this. Daily.
Deciding to be open about my miscarriage is part of the healing process for me. Not that I want it to be table talk and on everyone's plate for discussion over their morning coffee, I just want to feel comfortable in the reality that I have faced. I don't want to feel ashamed or have to hide and grieve in silence. I need support. What would have been my due date, August 23, is now only 5 days away and all of my emotions have come flooding back. It's tough. I need my friends and family to understand. I don't want to spend hours talking about it, but it's a part of me now. Talking about it, to some extent, is an outlet. I realized that I was struggling more when attempting to bottle this up inside of me. I've lost a piece of my heart and I'll never be able to forget our little angel baby.
So, here I am, sharing my story.
I want people to know.
While he/she may not be here on Earth, I don't want to forget.
I wish more women were comfortable and didn't feel the need to grieve alone. I wish they didn't feel the need to hide in secret. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
This is real. It happens to real women. It happened to me.
I'm now about 23.5 weeks pregnant and while that's a wonderful feeling and we are SO incredibly grateful for this peanut, we still think about our baby that we lost. Some days are harder than others, but just because we're once again pregnant, doesn't mean the grieving is over.
I'm still sad. Still grieving.
But I want other women to have hope.
We are so exited for this third little miracle on her way.
Another little one to love and kiss and snuggle. WE ARE THANKFUL.
For those that have also experienced miscarriage, know that you are NOT alone. I know it's a sensitive subject, but it's not one that you need to be ashamed of or hide from the world. Be grateful for the time you had and remember that you now have a little angel babe watching down over you.
Saturday, August 16, 2014
23 weeks | Baby 2.0
What's new?
Baby girl can sense movement well enough to feel me dancing, with Ellie - all.day.long.
She weighs more than a pound.
The loud noises (aka barking!) she hears now *hopefully* won't phase her outside the womb.
Her lungs are preparing to learn how to breathe.
How far along? 23 weeks
Baby's size? grapefruit - over 11 inches in length, because apparently grapefruits of this size truly do exist.
Total weight gain: 15 pounds, lovely.
Maternity clothes? Yep, most of the time. Though I'm still able to rock the bella band or hair tie trick with most of my shorts/jeans.
Sleep: It's still going well, though I usually pee 2-3 times a night.
Best moments this past week: We had a great little family date night at the Quarter - Zinburger (uh-mazing!!!) for dinner, the splash pad, and froyo, yo!
Miss Anything? I know quite a few people that are in Vegas this weekend and I'm uber jealous. I definitely don't miss "the scene" and haven't in years, but there's just something about sin city that gets this mama all giddy inside! So, I definitely miss Vegas even though we were just there in March. It will be quite a while before we head back again! Sad day.
Movement: Tons! Baby girl is crazy, folks!
Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope! In fact, I'm currently drooling over the Mexican food I'm about to eat at dinner with my girlfriends!
Labor Signs: Technically, no. Very few BH contractions come and go.
Gender: Girl!
Symptoms: Nothing has changed. Basically, gaining weight and peeing, both like they're going out of style!
Belly Button in or out? It's still halfway out.
Wedding rings on or off? on
Happy or Moody most of the time: Very happy!
Looking forward to: My next OB appointment on Tuesday.
23 weeks
Sunday, August 10, 2014
22 weeks | Baby 2.0
What's new?
Baby girl can hear outside noises.
Her face is fully formed.
She should be (let's plead, hope, pray!!!) sleeping in regular cycles 12-14 hours a day.
Baby girl should weigh about a pound.
Though her eyes have been formed, they haven't reached baby blue status.... yet. ;)
Though her eyes have been formed, they haven't reached baby blue status.... yet. ;)
How far along? 22 weeks (as of yesterday)
Baby's size? a spaghetti squash - 11 inches
Total weight gain: 14 pounds, lovely.
Maternity clothes? Yep, most of the time. Though I'm still able to rock the bella band or hair tie trick with most of my shorts/jeans.
Sleep: It's still going well, though I usually pee 2-3 times a night.
Best moments this past week: Getting a lot done around the house - organizing, decluttering, donating, painting baby's nursery - may not be great for the normal person, but for my type-A pregnant self, it felt amazing! We've had a great little family weekend as well. :)
Miss Anything? Non-pregnancy related, but I missed teaching this week. It hit home with all the kiddos going back to school on Monday. Though come October I know I'd be singing an entirely different tune!
Movement: Tons, mostly when I'm laying down and occasionally when I'm sitting.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Not really.
Labor Signs: Technically, no. Very few BH contractions come and go.
Gender: Girl! I think we're officially down to two names; getting closer!
Symptoms: Not a whole lot other than packing on the lbs and peeing like it's going out of style.
Belly Button in or out? It's still halfway out.
Wedding rings on or off? on
Happy or Moody most of the time: Honestly, I've been super emotional and hormonal. Oh, the joys of pregnancy!
Looking forward to: Chicago! I know it's still 2.5 weeks away, but I'm getting really excited!
22 weeks
the board was JP's idea, as if you couldn't tell already :)
You know the deal.. THANKS!
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
Ellie | 18 months
She refuses to drink milk ever since we cut bottles at 17 months, though our pedi isn't at all worried with the other dairy she eats. Not to mention, she's clearly not underfed. We also dropped the pacifiers around 15-16 months.
playing hide and seek
reading books
pushing her babies around in her stroller (and usually into the dogs)
chasing the dogs and playing tug-o-war with Lily
feeding the dogs
going through the cabinets and lining up all the cans or Tupperware bowls
baths
walking up and down the stairs
going for walks
playing outside, especially in water or with the hose
Mickey Mouse and Little Einsteins
coloring and painting, though neither lasts more than 5 minutes
sitting on the potty and making the ssss sound, but not actually going
helping with things - watering the pants, carrying bags, "fixing" things, putting things away, putting clothes in washer/dryer, taking things in and out of the dishwasher, etc.
Dislikes
getting her diaper changed
unfamiliar people trying to hold her
guys with lots of facial hair
being told no and not getting her way
I really tried to narrow the pictures down here and technically, I did.
Though I still know it's a ton.
Vacations excluded; I'll make separate posts on those. :)
| cuuuuute |
| Valentine's Day 2014 |
| sisterly love - plus a double chin shot :)) |
| ready to play with the big kids already |
| Phoenix Zoo - February 2014 |
| JP's best Ellie chipmunk expression |
| Ellie's first spring training game - March 2014 |
| St. Patrick's Day 2014 - Daddy's lucky charm |
| the park next door is clearly a big hit in this family |
| the REAL Ellie |
| Daddy rides! |
| the bed head this girl gets is unreal, y'all! |
| Easter 2014 |
| Railroad Park |
| Mother's Day 2014 |
| Nana's Surprise 50th |
| she loves Oreos; definitely daddy's girl |
| Fourth of July 2014 |
| this girl -- 18 months going on 18 |
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